People on not quite an expert

Marie Kondo's glass drawers and character development

Sat, 07 Feb 2026 00:00:00 +0000

To decorate my desk in the office, I got Marie Kondo’s stackable glass drawers. I went through some real hassle to get them. Since they had been discontinued, I couldn’t order them online. I had to order them from the Container Store in Staten Island, then get them picked up and delivered via Uber!

Why did I go through that hassle? Because I enjoy Marie Kondo’s “character development”.

In her essay about chadō, “the way of tea”, in Letter from Japan,¹ Kondo reflects:

Staying off social media

Sat, 16 Aug 2025 00:00:00 +0000

Though I’ve only seen light evidence that it undermines epistemics and mental health, I think social media moves faster than research and policy. I deliberately stay off social media: I don’t have an X (previously Twitter), Instagram, or TikTok account, and I don’t have the YouTube app on my phone.

I don’t see myself as a better person than other people because of this (as my friend accused). However, I do see myself as better than the counterfactual version of myself on social media. I remember my time on Facebook (before I deleted that account) as mostly rotting, similar to this description, and I can’t really point to anything meaningful I got out of it.

Lightly scammed

Sat, 02 Aug 2025 00:00:00 +0000

Leaving the office late, I bumped into some guy on the street. He picked his glasses up from the sidewalk, and showed me the crack in one of the lenses. Noting he didn’t have insurance, he insisted I give him cash to help pay for a replacement. His manner of speech and parted eyes (strabismus) suggested he had a minor disability.

I didn’t have the personality to simply brush the guy off, and I didn’t have the capability to immediately verify the cause of and fix for the crack. So I gave him 30 bucks from my wallet.

Outgrown, not yet

Sat, 26 Jul 2025 00:00:00 +0000

It feels like you’ve outgrown your childhood home. You have to bend down to use the sink. You almost hit your head on your bedroom ceiling fan. And you have to bend your knees to lie comfortably on your mattress.

The morning of your flight out, your coffee tastes bitter and sour - your dad should’ve used the hand grinder you bought him. Your 生煎包 taste dry - your mom should’ve gelatinized the broth before pan-frying them. And your green beans taste bland - your dad should’ve added salt, which happens often. Samin Nosrat is rolling in her bed.

Stranger like a friend

Sat, 24 May 2025 00:00:00 +0000

Exiting the subway, I saw someone who looked exactly like one of my closest friends. They had the same face, the same clothes, and the way they hunched over to dig through their backpack, I wanted to call out to my friend.

I saw the stranger like my friend, and I saw my friend like a stranger, with Circumstance in between. I wondered if they dreamed the same - a job thinking, not needing money, in a quiet home surrounded by more trees than people. However, I knew I wouldn’t know, and I moved on.

Justin? Who?

Sat, 17 May 2025 00:00:00 +0000

A coworker with an impressive resume casually invited me to their combined birthday party. Though the invite counter over 100 people going, I thought I should go, for the sake of maybe personal, more likely professional relationships.

To my surprise, they still lease houses large enough for 100+-people parties in prime Manhattan, and they filled this one with bulk packs of beer and hard seltzer and basically no furniture.

An ex-coworker, who left for a different startup, arrives. Though they have a common name, I still need a second to dig it up from my memory. I gradually enter their circle, and the ex-coworker, bottle of truth serum in hand, introduces everyone. The ex-coworker introduces me as “Justin, who I used to work with”.

Dating the same person

Sat, 10 May 2025 00:00:00 +0000

A date (who’d recently moved) asked me an out of context question: “So how’s dating in New York City?”

A bit surprised, I responded “In New York City, you can find anyone …” or any two, or any three, etc. " … if you search hard enough."

Though looking around the people close to me (around my age), I see most people dating the same kind of person, staying within the same race and class boundaries. In fairness, you generally want a long-term partner who really understands you, and someone from the same race and class more likely understands you.

Fish blossom at the probably-not end of the world

Sat, 29 Mar 2025 00:00:00 +0000

“What are you thinking about?” I ask my coworker.

“How everything will get more expensive, because of the tariffs.” My coworker smacks me with a big, genuine answer.

“Well, better save up.” We laugh it off, save it for later because we should work now.

When I meet my coworker, a self-professed Eeyore, over the weekend, they worry about the times. It doesn’t feel like the end of the world. Though it doesn’t feel certain the world will go on, or more particularly, go on well.

Pickle Guys!

Sat, 22 Feb 2025 00:00:00 +0000

This week, I went to the last standing pickle store on Essex Street, The Pickle Guys. Upon entering the store, a crowd of barrels, then the eponymous Pickle Guys, greeted me.

The Pickle Guys don’t just sell pickles; they embody an ideal, reminiscent of the Village People (who sing the familiar YMCA song). Various flavors gather together. The Asian one! The black one! And the one whose slight lisp suggests he likes pickles (not just the ones they sell in the store)!

Logarithmic happiness

Sat, 18 Jan 2025 00:00:00 +0000

Social science research converses with itself. For example, you might’ve heard money doesn’t increase happiness past a certain point, or you might’ve heard the opposite that money continues to increase happiness. In a recent paper, Mellers negotiates these seemingly contradictory findings: money continues to increase happiness for some people.¹ Revolutionary.

Reading the paper more deeply, the log(income) part of its conclusion caught my attention. In computer science, we think of a O(log(n)) complexity algorithm as growing extremely slowly. For instance, binary search on 256 sorted items takes 8 comparisons, on 65,536 sorted items takes 16 comparisons, and on 4,294,967,296 sorted items takes 32 comparisons. Intuitively, to add happiness you would need to multiply your income.

Surprise Cybertruck

Sat, 28 Dec 2024 00:00:00 +0000

While on vacation, our family got a rideshare in a surprise Cybertruck!

My mom speculated “must be expensive”, to which to driver replied “yeah, a little expensive”. Then with some real big mom energy, my mom hit him with “well, maybe just a little expensive for you”! The driver tried to recover by spouting some financial justifications, though by then I had already relayed the conversation to my friends.

My mom commented on the driver’s shyness afterward. Based on this anecdotal evidence, I’d read the buyer of a Cybertruck as trying to become less self-conscious;¹ the truck itself seems to perform worse than other trucks. So getting read as a passenger as trying to become less self-conscious made me very self-conscious. I spent the ride trying to focus inward rather than outward.

How many times?

Sat, 16 Nov 2024 00:00:00 +0000

When I suffered insomnia, I thought of The End. Bipolar and somewhat delirious, I felt excited for The End of my insomnia, and I felt scared for The End of the lives of my beloved. I listened, to Japanese Breakfast’s mourning, and to John Green’s melancholy:

[H]ow many times then, really, do I get to look at a tree? 12,395? There has to be an exact number. Let’s just say it is 12,395. Absolutely, that is a lot, but it is not infinite, and anything less than infinite seems too measly a number and is not satisfactory.

Personal user guide

Sat, 09 Nov 2024 00:00:00 +0000

How can people best work with you? If you have a well-meaning organization, or at least team, you can tell them. Inspired by this example, a wrote a user guide about myself. It contains:

Styles of communication 💃🕺
Areas of strength 🦸
Opportunities for growth 💪
Paths of trust ⛓️
Methods of feedback 🪞
Views of success 🎗️

Hinge thots III: journal

Sat, 15 Jun 2024 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve started going on dates! My friend advised me, after we both read How to Not Die Alone, that you go on the first date just to figure out if you want to go on a second date. That mindset takes a lot of pressure off me.

That same book recommends reflecting on you and the other person after each date, so I started a dating journal. Following this template I found, each person in my dating journal has 3 sections:

Hinge thots II: duty

Sat, 13 Apr 2024 00:00:00 +0000

What do you owe to someone you’ve dated? Intuitively, you owe more the more you’ve dated. However, my friends have given me pretty different answers.

On one of my dates, the other person jumped onto the subway, took a bow, and announced “I don’t think it’ll work out.” “Oh! Ok…” We waved at each other, and they went off in the wrong direction.

I appreciated the honesty. However, I felt like we owed each other more, especially as I carried an entire picnic’s supplies home.¹

Hinge thots I: actual experience

Sat, 06 Apr 2024 00:00:00 +0000

I finally created a dating app profile on Hinge! I had hesitated for so long because doing so requires confronting big questions like:

What do I even want?
How do I appear to others?
How do I compare to others?

Like I learned from woodworking, at some point you just have to try, rather than theorize. Actual experience will provide some answers.

Chili butter V: Eurocentricity

Sat, 23 Mar 2024 00:00:00 +0000

Do I feel guilty about praising French stuff like everyone else? Well, I’m writing a fifth post, so you bet I do.

In How the World Really Works, Vaclav Smil writes:

Think of what you might be missing: those paper thin slices of jamón ibérico; that well-roasted pig …; that well-cooked polpo gallego …. If we were to stake longevity (accompanied by healthy and active life) solely on the prevailing diet … then Japanese eating has a slight edge, but an only slightly inferior outcome can be had by eating as they do in Valencia.

Chili butter III: East Asian dairy

Sat, 09 Mar 2024 00:00:00 +0000

My friend questioned the authenticity of chili butter made with Sichuanese chili.

In Japan, you can top takoyaki with loads of cheese. In Korea, you can stuff a corn dog with fish cake and cheese. In China, Pizza Hut did so well it spun off from the parent company.

The inauthentic ingredient of cheese, despite more upsetting to the Asian stomach, finds popularity altered for East Asia.

Chili butter I: importance

Sat, 24 Feb 2024 00:00:00 +0000

Before I write about food yet again, I wanted to emphasize the importance of food.

We have to eat food, so food reflects the realities and eccentricities of our lives.

Folding Ideas provides a great example (4:05):

We can say a lot about food, and some of it matters. What I, not quite an expert, say, of course, does not.

Savvy stupid

Sat, 23 Dec 2023 00:00:00 +0000

At the Chicago “L” train station, a kindly Chinese grandma approached me, asking me to sign her petition, to end the Communist Party of China (CPC).

I can’t tell how how a petition would end the CPC. However, I can tell what organization someone like this would belong to. The same one that performs Shen Yun: the Falun Gong, or Falun Dafa.

On the back of the pamphlet, I spotted the website of The Epoch Times. Published by the Falun Gong, The Epoch Times has embraced far-right politics, peddling misinformation including anti-vaccine screeds. The Falun Gong have found a curious coalition in their fight against the CPC.

I moved 3 times in 2023

Sat, 16 Dec 2023 00:00:00 +0000

As the title declares. The first time, our lease expired and my roommate wanted to live in a different neighborhood. The second time, just one month later, I needed a better place to sleep than the second floor overlooking the highway. The third time, I took a job in another city.

The first time, I suffered chaos by my procrastination and permissiveness. By the third time, I learned to act and communicate early, and set clear expectations; my third move went as well as it could have (except one broken mug).

Brown croissants

Sat, 02 Dec 2023 00:00:00 +0000

Do you know the story of croissants? One story goes:

[A] baker of the 17th century, working through the night at a time when his city (either Vienna in 1683 or Budapest in 1686) was under siege by the Turks, heard faint underground rumbling sounds which, on investigation, proved to be caused by a Turkish attempt to invade the city by tunneling under the walls. The tunnel was blown up. The baker asked no reward other than the exclusive right to bake crescent-shaped pastries commemorating the incident, the crescent being the symbol of Islam.

Airport theft

Sat, 25 Nov 2023 00:00:00 +0000

In between jobs, I’ve been moving through a bunch of airports lately. So I’ve wondered - do airports have abnormally high or low rates of theft?

I could imagine airports have abnormally high rates of theft, because lots of people move through them with packed valuable baggage and stress, prime targets for thieves.

I could imagine airports have abnormally low rates of theft, because security checkpoints guard the boarding areas, discouraging thieves.

Bar joy

Sat, 18 Nov 2023 00:00:00 +0000

I had an espresso flight at Starbucks. At risk (at certainty) of sounding like yet another coffee snob, I didn’t pick up any of the tasting notes. I only tasted “burnt”. People suggest tasting notes; some people suggest badly, or for mere marketing.

In Paris,¹ I dined at a wine bar. I watched as another patron sipped on a glass of wine, then brought home a bottle of it - the strong joy and sales tactic of trying before buying! I enjoy the same for coffee (beans roasted at a local coffee shop), and in rare cases, for tea!

Bardo goals

Sat, 11 Nov 2023 00:00:00 +0000

I originally wanted to call them “limbo goals”. However, “bardo”, the period between death and rebirth, feels more precise.

I’ve died at Glean, and I’ve yet to rebirth at Ramp. In between, I have time to think about, and hopefully move toward, how I want to live.

In my final week at Glean, I asked many of my coworkers what they would do with a few weeks not needing to work. Travel, see friends, sure. Most interestingly, some emphasized the philosophical importance of doing nothing.

You're only famous when you're dead

Sat, 04 Nov 2023 00:00:00 +0000

This week, I put in my 2-week notice. And suddenly, everyone wanted to chat.

I don’t feel salty, though. I feel grateful, and a bit baffled, by the sheer number of people with whom I’ve connected while working at Glean.

And I feel genuinely uplifted by the many people who’ve told me that they’ve liked working with me, and they’ve liked me.

Bittersweet the notion that this era of me is coming to an end.

Good apologies

Sat, 26 Aug 2023 00:00:00 +0000

Most people don’t communicate well, and by extension most people don’t apologize well.

A bad apology, a selfish apology, downplays the impact and throws out excuses, in an attempt to make the apologizer feel better. However, if you hurt me, you don’t get to dictate how it affected me, and I don’t really care about why it happened.

A good apology, a generous one, understands or explores the impact and moves to mitigate it going forward. It takes more, and it gives more.

老板 (Laoban), dumplings

Sat, 05 Aug 2023 00:00:00 +0000

I 老板

My mother asserts in name.

My sister and I share the same middle name “Guo”, my mother’s maiden name, which she kept even after coming to the United States.

My father calls my mother “老板”, which he translates as “boss”, of the household.

II Laoban

In my corner store, I spotted Laoban Dumplings on sale. The brand translates Laoban as “boss”, of the dumpling shop.

I thought of the Chinatown restauranters who fed me when I wasn’t sleeping well, and got sick of Trader Joe’s frozen foods.

Hyperspecialization

Sat, 29 Jul 2023 00:00:00 +0000

I get my oolong tea from one purveyor (Song Tea), and my Japanese tea from another (Kettl).

I get my tinned fish from one restaurant (The Anchovy Bar), and my oysters from another (Hog Island Oyster Co.).

My taste, and the modern American economy it seems, rewards getting really, really good at something really, really specific.

However, does this hyperspecialization impede us from the joys and value of mixing specialties?

Locked out in sight

Sat, 15 Jul 2023 00:00:00 +0000

Did you know my apartment building’s clubhouse doors auto-lock around midnight? I learned that after coming back from the restroom, tugging, pulling, YANKING at all doors till my hands and arms became sore.

I could SEE my backpack and laptop. And while staring at them INDIGNANTLY, I put them in lost mode. Then I went to sleep, trying to forget about it.

I forced myself to wake up early the next morning. And after waving to the janitor, I, relieved, retrieved my stuff.

Birthday backpack chase

Sat, 01 Jul 2023 00:00:00 +0000

This year, I celebrated my birthday by chasing my backpack!

Don’t worry, I also had a party and brunch over the weekend.

I left my backpack on the bench and got on the 5:50 northbound train. Grasping my empty shoulders, I found out only after the train started moving.

At the next station, I took the 6:16 southbound train back. As I eyed the bags of others, I slowly realized someone had taken my backpack!

A sleepy earnestness

Sat, 24 Jun 2023 00:00:00 +0000

Earlier this year, in the face of a brutal insomnia that reduced me to less than 6 hours of sleep per day, I asked my friend how to sleep.

A few months before, this friend had discovered a tumor in their brain. The tumor had distorted their sleep cycle enough to intrigue a panel of researchers.

I got some sleep and health advice from my friend. More importantly, I gained perspective.

The melancholies of helping an old Chinese man get back to Oakland

Sat, 17 Jun 2023 00:00:00 +0000

The distanced melancholy of not knowing your mother tongue, the native language of your mother, your father, and most of your family
The vicarious melancholy of seeing someone live in a region spoken and written primarily alien
The selfish melancholy of “losing” an hour, because you don’t have 100% confidence this person will find help otherwise, and missing your scheduled exercise class
The fearful melancholy of becoming more dependent on others as you age
The vain melancholy of wanting to publicize your act, and thinking a truly good person would not
The yearning melancholy of wanting to know more of the colliding half-stranger, waving bye as you go your unknown ways

A day by your self

Sat, 10 Jun 2023 00:00:00 +0000

To be alone is to be entirely your self. Well, as much as an individual constitutes a self.

(You can bike 6 miles to consume an unusual pastry. And screw it, follow that up with a frivolous coffee flight and museum visit.

(You can quietly seethe at the golf course you have to walk through, and the European’s sculpture of Le Chinois, the Chinese man.

(And you can walk to the beach and take pictures of amazingly ugly rocks. And the backs of strangers clearly having a moment from embarrassing angles.

Lunch and dinner faces

Sat, 03 Jun 2023 00:00:00 +0000

I wear separate faces for lunch and dinner.

My lunch face orders “请来一磅鸡腿”

My dinner face inquires “which pâté would work well in a sandwich?”

My lunch face devours the fried chicken drumettes indiscriminately, lukewarm flesh and ligament altogether.

My dinner face requests to re-heat the tepid seasonal quiche, carefully sectioning with a fork and knife.

My lunch face roams the streets, crunching and tossing the bones in front of God and everyone.

7-Eleven taquitos

Sat, 20 May 2023 00:00:00 +0000

Tonight, for the first time in years, I ate another 7-Eleven taquito - monterey jack, the objectively superior flavor.

$1.50 - more expensive than I remember, though it tasted exactly the same.

I’ve eaten so much fancy - expensive, sometimes delicious, food since then. However, no matter how many omakases, or fusion burritos, or “celebrations of sungold tomatoes” I consume, I still come back to the 7-Eleven taquito. In fact, in time, in memory, after a late night, after a long flight, I embody the 7-Eleven taquito more than any fancy food. And that feels good. Actually, not good, right, except in my stomach.

Chinatown at the farmers market

Sat, 13 May 2023 00:00:00 +0000

This weekend I went to the farmers market in the United Nations Plaza. I noticed something unexpected - almost all of the other customers came from Chinatown!

To understand why, you must understand Chinatown. As I learned in Cool Gray City of Love:

Chinatown serves as one of the last places poor people can afford to live in San Francisco.
Chinatown houses a lot of elderly people aging in place.

By that combination, you find a lot of Chinatown grandparents hungry for cheap produce. And they shop enthusiastically at the farmers market, just never at the trendy (i.e. more expensive) stands.

Smart plug hammer

Sat, 06 May 2023 00:00:00 +0000

You can turn any “dumb” electrical device into a “smart” one by plugging it into a smart plug. Then you can automatically schedule turning it on and off.

However, to a person with a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail. Instead of solving the problem with my noisy refrigerator, I just set the refrigerator to turn off around when I expect to sleep and wake up. And now, stuck with a “smart” half-solution, I end up trying to ignore the noisy refrigerator during the day.

Evolutionary intelligence

Sat, 29 Apr 2023 00:00:00 +0000

Today my friend explained a surprisingly simple evolutionary theory of intelligence.

Organisms evolve to face the challenges of their environment. At the same time, evolution pressures to keep solutions broad and simple, in order to conserve resources. Animal intelligence, especially human intelligence, addresses an extremely broad set of challenges with relatively little genetic complexity. Fascinating!

Though one wonders about the evolutionary future of humans, whose most pressing challenges seem to come from human forces, rather than natural environmental ones (if there exists a distinction).

Hello Sleep

Sat, 22 Apr 2023 00:00:00 +0000

As I researched more on CBT-I, I came across a new book by behavioral sleep medicine specialist Dr. Jade Wu: Hello Sleep: The Science and Art of Overcoming Insomnia Without Medications.

I didn’t want to unnecessarily add to my growing backlog of books to read, so I looked at the book preview.

I’ve never felt so seen and called out by a book at the same time! The prologue “Sleep Is a Friend, Not an Engineering Problem” tells the story of Kate, a software engineer with insomnia obsessing over sleep data. I, of course, saw myself in Kate.

My scariest bike ride

Sat, 15 Apr 2023 00:00:00 +0000

After visiting my friend in the southern part of the Mission in SF, Google Maps directed me to the scariest bike ride I’ve ever taken.

In the dead of night, the trip began by passing under the highway on the highway. I learned, in my futile search for bike lane markings not there, that this road did not have room for me.¹ With the lights of the cars behind me, I felt the real fear of getting run over.

CBT-I

Sat, 08 Apr 2023 00:00:00 +0000

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) aims to reduce symptoms of various mental health conditions. Connecting thoughts, emotions, and behavior, CBT aims to reshape negative (patterns of) thoughts and emotions to reduce negative behaviors.

People often know CBT as treating depression and anxiety disorders. However, one form, cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), aims to treat insomnia. This fits with my previous description of insomnia as a behavioral disorder.

CBT-I represents the most effective, scientifically supported treatment¹ we have for insomnia. The American College of Physicians recommends CBT-I as the first-line treatment for chronic insomnia. In general (at least as I, not-quite-an-expert, understand CBT-I), we want to:

The 3 Ps of insomnia

Sat, 01 Apr 2023 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

Since I’ve been experiencing insomnia, I thought I’d share the helpful things I’ve learned about insomnia.

For many people, insomnia represents a behavior, rather than purely physiological, disorder. Under a behavioral model of insomnia, we can imagine insomnia going through 3 Ps.

Predisposition

Certain people have a predisposition for insomnia. These predisposing factors can range from personal, e.g. internalizing unrealistic expectations about sleep, to environmental, e.g. living in a noisy place. Note these predisposing factors (thankfully) don’t automatically determine you will experience insomnia; they simply increase the chances you might experience insomnia, if you encounter the subsequent Ps.

Moving chaos 7: lingering insomnia

Sat, 25 Mar 2023 00:00:00 +0000

Though I had moved out of the noisy unit, I was still waking up at 5 or 6 AM.

In hindsight, it would make sense that the month in the noisy unit would linger within me, as a mild insomnia. However, I catastrophized my new quieter unit was disrupting my sleep. My anxiety triggered a vicious cycle, making my sleep worse and worse.

It surprises me how quickly and deeply mental disorder re-shaped my experience and perspective. At one point, I even considered breaking my lease (again, except in this case early termination would cost 2 months’ rent), and moving to the Middle of Nowhere.

Moving chaos 6: Spacemacs mover

Sat, 18 Mar 2023 00:00:00 +0000

This time, I hired a mover to move my stuff. Somehow, I found the one mover who also uses Spacemacs, a particular community configuration of Emacs.

Unprompted, the mover told me about Free Software, Lisp machines, and Richard Stallman. I had only told other people about these topics; it felt almost surreal to have someone tell me, doubly so my mover!

My mover went to UC Berkeley, and had to drop out due to immigration issues. I felt a real kinship, and that mere circumstance kept us in wildly different conditions. So for the first time, I left a 5-star review, and tipped over a hundred dollars.

COVID lonely

Sat, 25 Feb 2023 00:00:00 +0000

I done caught COVID! I tested positive for the first time, three years after the pandemic started.

I spent this week mostly alone. My roommate is still gradually moving in, and for everyone’s well-being I didn’t go to the office, and canceled my plans with friends.

I recently read The Lonely Stories, a collection of essays covering the complexities of loneliness. One of the essays related the writer’s experience at the beginning of the pandemic. While it made me grateful for the relatively disease-free path I’ve had since then, it also reminded me of the intense feelings of loneliness that come with COVID.

Home in the Design District

Sat, 18 Feb 2023 00:00:00 +0000

As I walk through the Design District of San Francisco, which houses many interior design showrooms, I see parts of homes. I see shiny model kitchens and bathrooms, even elaborate lamps. However, I don’t see “homes.”

I don’t see “homes,” because I know no one is really using these kitchens, bathrooms, nor lamps right now. They currently serve as display and merchandise.

I realize then that my intuitive idea of “home” involves people living. It includes relationships and behaviors, not just stuff - something to keep in mind as I make my “home” in my new place.

Indignant biking

Sat, 11 Feb 2023 00:00:00 +0000

To bike regularly in San Francisco, you must glance at death.

Last weekend, I learned that helmets don’t really help bikers if they seriously crash with a car. I also almost crashed twice, while in the bike lane.

The first time, a car swung open its door into my bike lane. I braked quickly enough to avoid a serious collision. Yet I still bumped my hand against the door. The driver and I checked with each other, found nothing concerning, and both brushed it off.

Moving chaos 3: unloading strategically

Sat, 21 Jan 2023 00:00:00 +0000

To avoid some of the burden I experienced loading my stuff into storage, I booked a mover to drop off and later pick up my U-Box at my new place.

The first mover I booked didn’t answer my six attempts to contact. Having learned to cut my losses earlier, I canceled that booking.

The next mover I booked answered immediately, and offered to also unload my stuff into my apartment for some extra cash. I took them on the offer.

Moving chaos 2: storing my stuff

Sat, 14 Jan 2023 00:00:00 +0000

While finding a place with my second roommate candidate, I needed to store my stuff for about a month.

I booked my first storage service a week ahead of time. The day before, I got a call from the warehouse: the historic rainfall had damaged their storage units. They couldn’t offer the storage service till after my lease expired. So I had to cancel my order.

Then I booked my second storage service. When I called to schedule the drop-off and pick-up of the storage unit, the customer service representative told me we would need a permit from the City of San Francisco. How long would that take? 7 business days. I did not have 7 business days before my lease expired. So I had to cancel my order, again!

Moving chaos 1: finding a roommate

Sat, 07 Jan 2023 00:00:00 +0000

My previous roommate wanted to move into a studio apartment; they recently started dating more seriously. When I was first moving into San Francisco, I was working for a huge company and found them through the internal roommate spreadsheet. Now I needed to search for a new roommate through other public channels.

Facebook served this search fine enough. Though the public Facebook roommate search groups suffer from botspam, enough people use them that I found two compatible roommate candidates.

Return to Ann Arbor

Sat, 31 Dec 2022 00:00:00 +0000

This week, I revisited Ann Arbor, the town of my undergraduate years.

Besides the nostalgia for cheap eats, behind the sense of the same, different, I confronted lost opportunities.

I saw the same buildings, with the same names, without access. I had 4 years to explore museums, concerts, and hidden corners, and instead I learned the parking lot outside my apartment window.

I don’t regret my time in Ann Arbor; I regret not adding a few small final touches. Acting within my sphere of influence, I have taken the spirit of exploration with me to San Francisco - most weeks I find another piece of the city.

I focused so hard I ended up in San Jose!

Sat, 10 Dec 2022 00:00:00 +0000

In December, the Caltrain is running on a modified (reduced) schedule due to construction. Oh well, I’ll just have to time my commute more precisely.

In some stations, including mine in Palo Alto, both lines, northbound to San Francisco and southbound to San Jose, are temporarily using the same track. Oh well, I’ll just have to check which track and cross under.

Friday night, after a particularly long day, I’m finally heading back from Palo Alto to San Francisco. I appreciate the train over a car because I can zone out. Put on my noise-canceling headphones, and meditate, read, or just, you know, splay out like a crime scene. Today, a particularly longer day, I’ve pulled out my laptop to wrap up some code.

Stories from the community table

Sat, 26 Nov 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Some busy restaurants employ a community table, an efficient setup for small parties and walk-ins who don’t mind sitting next to strangers to reduce wait times.

The first time I sat at a community table, I was trying to get a lobstah roll at Neptune Oyster in Bahston. After a short introduction, the guy next to me asked, without prompting, “have you heard of crypto?” He then told me his dad took out a couple thousand dollars on his mom’s credit card to “invest” in cryptocurrencies. That money disappeared in a flash, and his parents have separated. I changed the topic, silently thanking some divine force I wasn’t being sold cryptocurrencies at the community table.

Consuming experiences

Sat, 19 Nov 2022 00:00:00 +0000

“Buy experiences, not things”, so goes the popular advice. Things, after a short-lived honeymoon period, will quickly come to disappoint you. Experiences, by their short-livedness, will not.

A notable body of research supports this, though as with many (trendy) social science findings, I’d test intuitively and tentatively, waiting to see if the theory reproduces and generalizes.

Under this guidance, I have consumed many new experiences. I have traveled to see friends in different cities, for example. I treasure those times.

The season's worst trench coat look

Sat, 12 Nov 2022 00:00:00 +0000

March 2019, the University of Michigan had a shooter scare. As fear spread throughout the student body, I rushed back to my apartment, and plugged into the frantic network of texts warning people to stay clear of central campus.

One group text I still remember today: people spotted a suspicious figure in a trench coat running across one of the main streets.

The University didn’t actually have a shooter. The sounds of “gunshots” actually came from a sorority popping balloons.

Experience, interpretation, experience

Sat, 29 Oct 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Philosophies as broad as Buddhism to Stoicism separate experience from interpretation. For example, you may experience someone looking at you, and you may interpret that look to mean attraction, or hatred, or nothing at all. Though we often share interpretation, the separation from experience emphasizes choice: we choose how we interpret our experiences.

In turn, our interpretation creates another experience. Depending on how you interpreted the look from the previous example, you would feel and act differently. This forms a loose cycle between experience and interpretation.

Fired

Sat, 22 Oct 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Truthfully, I did not transition my mindset between roles fast enough, at least in the eyes of my manager (and their manager). 6 weeks into my job, my manager sat me down, and told me to shape up or get out.

My manager acknowledged that the start-up life did not fit everyone - something I had heard before, though never hit quite as hard as then. They (honestly quite insultingly) offered that I could leave the company with no hard feelings.¹

Work and boundaries

Sat, 15 Oct 2022 00:00:00 +0000

My first job out of college, I worked for Google during the pandemic. Both those taught me to set boundaries between my professional work and my other interests. I learned to remove distracting work apps from my phone; I learned to not feel guilty stopping early some days; I learned to get back to it tomorrow, or later.

My next job, my current job, at Glean forced me to reset those boundaries. I keep Slack on my phone in case of outages and late-night questions; I stay past 8 hours every day I go to the office; I finish up day of, even in the night.

SF Fog Week

Sat, 08 Oct 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Today, I biked to the Presidio Tunnel Tops to see the SF Fleet Week air show. Over 4 miles of biking the hills of San Francisco, silently cursing American city design, my body, and the car owners driving past me, and I get there, out of breath, raggedy, and ready. I felt so pumped to see planes, and I looked up.

I saw fog, and only fog, for the next half-hour or so. I heard planes, as if to taunt me. Just like I heard fireworks on July 4th.

Uncle Roger

Sat, 01 Oct 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Recently, I’ve been watching a lot of Uncle Roger videos. The videos follow the Asian Uncle Roger character watching non-Asian people cook Asian dishes, bemoaning how incorrectly or badly the non-Asian person is cooking the Asian dish.

The videos stand out to me for their relatability. The character reminds me of the ups and downs of growing up with Asian parents, and more relevantly for this post, the flaccid attempts at Asian-ish dishes that peppered my growing up in suburban Michigan.

Yoga at 1.1x speed

Sat, 24 Sep 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Recently, as a mindful mommy, I’ve been going on my 30-day Yoga Journey, a free yoga video series on YouTube. Those who remember I used to listen to music at 1.4x speed will suspect I don’t follow along at regular speed. Indeed, I’m sprinting along the path of my journey at 1.1x speed.

Yes, at first it felt almost sacrilegious to me too. I want you to cast aside your initial judgement, though, and re-consider the arguments I presented in my post about music at 1.4x speed. As consumers of media, we have the power of interpretation - to reproduce the media in our own way. That includes on a TV or on a phone, in a quiet apartment or in a noisy bar, and yes, at a slower or at a faster speed than 1.0x.

Just because you don't understand it ...

Sat, 17 Sep 2022 00:00:00 +0000

As I peruse the grocery store shelves, “health” foods bombard me: manuka honey, goji berries, kava, to name a few.

These “health” foods testify to America’s fraught relationship with food. Soda companies have lobbied a balanced diet can include regularly drinking tens of grams of sugar; now they sell sugar-free diet soda. Fad diets, often questionable or contradictory, now line our magazines and our un-skippable ads. Poverty now increases your chances of both hunger and obesity.

Chinese sushi

Sat, 10 Sep 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Before starting my new job, I visited my sister in Michigan. The week before, her toilet had clogged, spewing ew water across her room’s floor. I brushed off the smell, happy to see my sister again for the first time in months.

The week after, I went to a fancy schmancy sushi restaurant in New York City. They accompanied one of the dishes with fancy schmancy custom kombucha. As I sipped, the scent reminded me of my sister’s room.

Mindful mommy

Sat, 03 Sep 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Recently, I decided to buy a few essential oils. Quite simply, I like the smell, and they function well as a flexible perfume.

I started by visiting a local store to figure out what scents I liked. Self-conscious, I noticed all other customers comprised young women.

Back in my place, I compared essential oil brands and diagnosed a serious infection of multi-level marketing (MLM). MLM sellers exploit disproportionately vulnerable (poor, socially restricted) women under the guise of starting your own business. So serious the infection, one brand had a page “Compare to MLMs”, which made me pretty uncomfortable about the business of essential oils.

Human taquito

Sat, 27 Aug 2022 00:00:00 +0000

You know those mattress-in-a-box companies like Casper or Purple that ship mattresses directly to consumers? Taking advantage of their generous return policies, I ordered 3 mattresses in boxes my senior year, just after winter break.

Each of these mattresses they sent compressed in a giant plastic bag, so suddenly I had a gigantic pile of plastic. Rather than try to recycle the plastic, I kept it beside my bed, to … I don’t know … admire.

Oh no! I talk about my diet

Sat, 20 Aug 2022 00:00:00 +0000

The best regimen comprises what you can and will actually do sustainably. This applies to education, exercise, and diet.

My diet currently consists of 3 rules:

Only eat when hungry, rather than when strongly emotional or when encountering free food (in, say, the office microkitchen).
Eat with time and attention, instead of shoving food down my gullet while multitasking on my phone.
Avoid sugar, though don’t expect to completely remove it.

Suburbia

Sat, 13 Aug 2022 00:00:00 +0000

I’m traveling the 2 weeks in between jobs, to Boston, Chicago, and New York City to see friends. In between, I’ve stopped by my hometown.

I grew up in the suburbs outside Detroit. “Metro Detroit” we’d say, so people would vaguely know where. Surprisingly, Madonna graduated from my high school. Of it, she said:

When I went to high school, we moved to a suburb that was all white. And we were, a bit, living above of our means. … I just felt like I was with rich people, and I wasn’t and I felt out of place. And I felt like they were members of country clubs and they had manicures and they wore nice clothes and I didn’t fit in. … Have you ever been to Rochester Hills, Michigan? … I just didn’t want to go back. I can’t be around basic, provincial-thinking people.

Meat culture

Sat, 06 Aug 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Our food system constitutes one of humanity’s greatest impacts on the earth. Consider a simple tomato: greenhouses, irrigation, pesticides, fertilizers, pickers, processors, storers, shippers, merchandisers, stockers, and finally cookers. Revel in the effort it takes so you can make a mediocre spaghetti sauce.

Kitchen animosity aside, we observe that since animals spend so much energy unrelated to final human consumption, plant foods on average boast multiple times more energy-efficient production than animal meats.¹ Ignoring the energy initially created by photosynthesis in plants, overwhelmingly the energy spent in our food system comes from fossil fuels. We could, all else held equal, significantly reduce our carbon dioxide emissions by consuming more plant foods instead of meat.

Making eye contact with strangers

Sat, 30 Jul 2022 00:00:00 +0000

In more individualist, less power-distant cultures, eye contact usually signals interpersonal connection. Of course, this depends on context and person; the spread based on context and person spans far wider than the distance between cultural averages.

That considered, eye contact holds surprisingly broad and deep power over people.

During my freshman year, my upperclassman mentor gave me feedback that I made basically no eye contact in conversation. I started to make more eye contact while talking.

III: Recruitment and transition

Sat, 09 Jul 2022 00:00:00 +0000

I have applied to 13 companies.

I dipped my toes into recruiting with a first round of 3 companies: Roblox, Patreon, and Crosswire. They had reached out to me, and I mixed my interest in them with an interest in practicing interviewing. To my delight, I got offers from all 3. However, I turned them down, Roblox and Patreon too mature and Crosswire too early for my taste. The last one I declined nervously, knowing I would not have any standing offers for a while.

II: Unwellness and resilience

Sat, 02 Jul 2022 00:00:00 +0000

I emerged from senior year into closed doors. Over the course of the global pandemic, I worked for Google as a Software Engineer. Two opposites stand out from this time: unwellness and resilience.

At first, I couldn’t even refer to the COVID-19 pandemic by name: not “corona”, instead a “crown”; the “Inside Times”. Isolated, insulated, I cried and thought of death. Overwhelmed by It All (et al.), I traveled to 7 cities in 7 weeks, and cried again.

I: Competence

Sat, 25 Jun 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Since high school, I have seen myself as 1. good at computer stuff, and 2. getting good at people stuff.¹ Hence I pursued a dual degree in computer science and business administration.

My sophomore summer, I interned as a Software Engineer at Google, and I turned that into an Associate Product Manager (APM) Internship junior summer. Noting the prestige of the APM program, I saw myself as a Product Manager, in the intersection of computer and people stuff.

Rose extract

Sat, 11 Jun 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Today I bought roses from Trader Joe’s. The cashier probably thought I was buying them for my girlfriend.

I don’t have a girlfriend. I chopped the heads off the roses, and flayed the petals into a glass bottle, to drown in cheap vodka.

If that description doesn’t make it clear, I’m making rose extract. To mix with lychee in sparkling water.

Golden Era

Sat, 28 May 2022 00:00:00 +0000

I claimed before that “Food and stories form the easiest and most common way to share culture.” For Buddhism and proximate ways of life, the first manifests in veganism.

In between Civic Center and Tenderloin in San Francisco lies Golden Era Vegan Restaurant. Followers of Supreme Master Ching Hai run the restaurant, so as Eater warns, “while the food is indeed delicious, folks uncomfortable with religious propaganda should probably steer clear.”

Raised Roman Catholic, Hai followed a Buddhist monk for a few years. Then denied entrance to his monastery on the basis of gender, she moved to India to study different religions. This explains why Hai’s “way of the Light and Sound through the Quan Yin Method” mixes Christian, Buddhist (from which it takes veganism), and Hindu ideas. Christians mad, Buddhists mad, Hindus not clear.

Instrumental and terminal

Sat, 21 May 2022 00:00:00 +0000

We can characterize goals as either “instrumental” or “terminal.” We care about instrumental goals in support of others, and about terminal goals in themselves. For example, the instrumental goal of figuring out whether seaweed counts as a plant supports the terminal goal of understanding the natural world.

The distinction between instrumental and terminal depends on perspective, where broader perspectives bias toward instrumental. A hard drive has a terminal goal of storing and loading data. More broadly, a computer has an instrumental goal of storing and loading data to support a terminal goal of performing useful computation. More broadly, a person with a computer has an instrumental goal of performing useful computation to support an instrumental goal of figuring our whether seaweed counts as a plant to support a terminal goal of understanding the natural world.

Emerging adulthood

Sat, 23 Apr 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Emerging adulthood describes the period of life emerging from the stability of adolescence toward the stability of adulthood. In-stability marks this transition, changing homes, jobs, and relationships.

Uncertainty has become the greatest feature of my emerging adulthood, excitement and fear for what I will find. However, the global pandemic has formed the most notable feature. I emerged into closed doors - shuttering businesses, social distancing, and mass protests.

I wonder, and worry, that I have grown stunted, that emerging from the chrysalis into such a world has clipped my wings. And yet, it continues.

Sunflowers

Sat, 19 Mar 2022 00:00:00 +0000

I

Until I started school, I slept in my parents’ room. As I swim through the depths of my mind for memories of that time, I see sunflowers. Rather, a painting of sunflowers hanging on the bedroom wall.

I remember finding it strange the different directions the flowers face. I learned sunflowers face the sun.

In truth, sunflowers follow the sun only in their youth. Before blooming, they follow to gather more sunlight for photosynthesis. And shortly after blooming, they follow to gather warmth for pollination. Once mature, however, they stop moving, giving up sunlight and warmth to face their own direction.

Reasons to cook

Sat, 12 Mar 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

Since moving to San Francisco, I’ve cooked fewer times than I can count with my left hand. This seems strange for someone who cares enough about cooking to write about it.

Realizing how little I’ve cooked recently, I wanted to briefly survey why people cook, why I haven’t, and why I’d cook more.

Reasons other people cook (and why I haven’t)

Economic necessity

The labor of cooking costs money, and if you can do it yourself, you can save that money.¹ Many people cannot afford to pay someone else to cook for them, because they need to save that money to cover the cost of necessities. Others may still find cooking worthwhile, because they can invest that saved money in a more financially prosperous future.

Confidences and certainties

Sat, 05 Mar 2022 00:00:00 +0000

When working together, people often demand of us two seemingly contradictory qualities: confidence and humility. At first glance, an excess of confidence will undermine humility, and an excess of humility will undermine confidence. Supposedly, you should strive for a balance, in the middle.

I propose a more precise description for your consideration. We can have certainty and confidence, and we can have them in ability, process, and outcome.

Certainty stems from determining what to measure, how to measure it, and finally measuring it. We can measure quantitatively, e.g. money, and qualitatively, e.g. honest and constructive feedback from peers.

Out of belonging

Sat, 19 Feb 2022 00:00:00 +0000

During my visit to Mountain View, I stumbled upon a satellite building. In it, I found

the chill of abandoned space: chairs and chairs and chairs: boxes in boxes in boxes: and a handicap door button out of belonging:

This button belongs on the wall, not the floor! Seeing it out of its normal context provoked the question of belonging within me. Do I find myself out of belonging?

Perhaps more kindly, like a traveler lingering aimlessly in the limbo of an airport lounge, we can see the button as in between belongings. In that way, I’ve never related to a button so hard.

The Ship of Mountain View

Sat, 12 Feb 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Summer 2019, I stayed in a “tech hostel,” a massively shared house with over 20 people, including one guy living out of his car.

This week, I visited for the first time in years. What I remember most: “the same, different.”

I recognized the buildings in which I worked, the restaurants downtown in which I ate. Yet along the bike path, I witnessed alien structures, mystified by the hues of sunset and later the dark of night as I biked from the office to the hostel.

Sunk cost and "free"

Sat, 05 Feb 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Recently, I paid $159 for a 1-year bikeshare membership. In San Francisco, most trips I want to take stay within 2 miles one way, so this membership’s free 45-minute rides work out well.

When deciding how to get around SF, one might naturally ask:

Since I paid for this bikeshare membership, should I take a free bike ride, or the public transport?

In economic terms, however, we should ask a different way.

My hair parts

Sat, 29 Jan 2022 00:00:00 +0000

My hair parts left.

In middle school, I looked in the mirror, felt self-conscious, and with a comb decided.

My hair parts left.

Through high school and college, I sustained the habit.

My hair parts left.

In the Inside Times, my mom refused to go to a barber. She cut my hair and I told her.

My hair parts left.

The first week I moved to San Francisco, I went to a fancy barber, and I explained.

Sweat the big stuff

Sat, 22 Jan 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Today I met someone who told me they finessed their credit card benefits to save up to a few hundred dollars on food and transportation during their move. When I asked how much they were paying for their new place, they revealed a monthly rent about $1000 more than mine (after splitting with my roommate).

When trying to optimize money, sweat the big stuff. For most people, that breaks down to 2 foci: rent and income. Saving on rent or growing your income can translate to many, many meals, rides, and hangouts. And certainly to me it seems more efficient when accounting for time spent optimizing.

A Bay baptism

Sat, 15 Jan 2022 00:00:00 +0000

I have finally moved to San Francisco, one and a half years later than expected.

People attach resolutions to transitions. On top of moving, I have welcomed in the New Year. And after a stagnant year, I have a heaping barrel of resolutions.

When I landed, the Waters of Bay baptized me: from now on, “not quite an expert” has died, and you may call me “Super Expert”!

I’ll learn 1 new language, make 20 new friends, visit 300 museums, attend 4000 conferences, and lose 50000 pounds! Just you wait! New year, new city, new me.

I cried annotations

Sat, 08 Jan 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Because my parents cried, the saddest I could remember, and I loved them so much
Because my parents suffocated me, made me scared they wouldn’t let me go

In early 2020, my mom went to visit family in China. When the Virus hit, she booked a flight home. When the Virus spread, she moved her flight one day earlier. She arrived home the day travel closed between China and the US, for a long time.

I cried

Sat, 01 Jan 2022 00:00:00 +0000

I cried

Because my parents cried, the saddest I could remember, and I loved them so much
Because my parents suffocated me, made me scared they wouldn’t let me go

Because I couldn’t go anywhere, the Virus locked me Inside
Because I couldn’t move on, to the next place, to the next stage

Because I feared death, coming mid-paragraph, putting an End
Because I feared life, of how I would live and live on

Bottlehead Crack

Sat, 18 Dec 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

For Cyber Monday, I ended up purchasing the Bottlehead Crack, a DIY headphones amplifier targeted at high impedance headphones like the Sennheiser HD 6XX I already owned. In this post, I’d like to break down why.

Optimizing seller perspective

I think of price from the seller’s perspective as the sum of

cost of inputs + cost of logistics + value of performance + value of marketing + value of usability

Assuming, I cannot control the cost of inputs nor logistics, if I hold the price constant and want to maximize the value of performance, I would “diminish” the value of marketing and usability.

On the joys and perils of a profane name

Sat, 11 Dec 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Coq

Coq provides an interactive theorem prover for proofs about programming languages and other computer systems. Coq plays on the name of creator Thierry Coquand, puns on the Calculus of Constructions (CoC) Coquand was working on before, and follows the French tradition of naming tools after animals (coq meaning rooster in French).

This year, the Coq team announced it would receive proposals to rename Coq. “Testimonies from people who experienced harassment or awkward situations [and] reports about students (notably women) who ended up not learning / using Coq because of its name” spurred this effort. The announcement goes so far as to assert “[t]he only thing that is clear at this point is that we cannot just ignore the issue [of the name Coq] and do nothing.” The wiki documents a significant effort to change the name, paragraphs of advantages and disadvantages plus another page dedicated to the implications of changing the name.

Comparing audio equipment

Sat, 04 Dec 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

This week, while shopping for a new headphones amp, I’ve been looking for “best” headphones amps. This begs the question: how do we best compare audio equipment?

Resolution vs. profile

Okay, so obviously on a high level the “best” audio equipment produces the “best” audio. However, what constitutes “best” audio turns out much more challenging than you might expect.

An easy (and in my not-quite-an-expert opinion, bad) definition of “best” audio relates to resolution. You could say the “best” audio equipment setup utilizes the most and loses the least music “information” in producing audio. However, as I covered in a previous post:

Searching product spaces

Sat, 27 Nov 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

For Black Friday and Cyber Monday (which I’ll abbreviate BFCM from now on), lots of American sellers are offering significant discounts. To take advantage of the sales, every BFCM, I try to get one nice thing for myself. The past few years, I’ve gotten one nice piece of audio equipment. I’ll discuss the topic of audio in a later post; for this post I wanted to briefly describe 3 practical strategies for BFCM shopping.

Kerry Park

Sat, 20 Nov 2021 00:00:00 +0000

From Kerry Park, you can witness a magnificent view of Seattle.

The first time I went, I put on Nurture by Porter Robinson. I felt a deep catharsis swell within me: the loneliness of staying in a city where I knew no one, the fear of a future already rattled by circumstances unforeseen, the satisfaction of the freedom to explore and change.

I went again, during my week in Seattle. The second time I bought a pack of sparkling water. I was feeling social, or quirky, and had this admittedly unusual fantasy of offering a drink to a stranger over an inspiring landscape.

Lobster rolls

Sat, 13 Nov 2021 00:00:00 +0000

I: Lobster

I’ve spent the past 2 weeks in the Boston area. In my time around Boston, I’ve had 3 lobster rolls: one at James Hook & Co., one at Saltie Girl, and one at Neptune Oyster. 3 lobster rolls in, I sure feel like I ate lobster and butter and bread.¹

By which I mean I found the rolls good, not mind-blowing. In retrospect, I kind of regret how much I paid for the lobster rolls. I tried 3 times to change my perception of lobster, and I’ve ended up confirming I just don’t have the taste others have for it.

Sitting in a chair

Sat, 06 Nov 2021 00:00:00 +0000

I spent one elementary school summer at a Wayne State University youth camp building Lego robotics. Since both my parents worked full-time, the camp doubled as a daycare. After all the other kids got picked up, I would follow the counselor to some office to wait for my dad.

I didn’t like sitting still in some boring, stuffy office. I fidgeted, shook, whatever children do outside the bounds of adult manners.

Why do you play (music)?

Sat, 30 Oct 2021 00:00:00 +0000

I asked my friend, while they were playing their recently bought guitar.

For romantic others

My friend thought it romantic to serenade a partner with a ballad on the guitar. Many a sappy love song come originally or well arranged for an acoustic guitar.

For platonic others

I jokingly asked if they wanted to annoy others at parties by playing guitar. Though in an intimate setting, two or three people, I like the idea of singing along together with a guitar. At the same time, I feel shy enough about singing that I don’t know if I could muster the will.

Why do you play (games)?

Sat, 23 Oct 2021 00:00:00 +0000

During the Inside Times, I spent a lot of time in my small hometown. To pass the time, to cope, I played a lot of Warframe, roughly 1000 hours over the past year, in fact. That averages out to around 3 hours per day. Wow.

Warframe doesn’t have much difficulty. I would characterize the gameplay as just satisfying enough, and certainly plentiful enough, to capture your attention in loop for a long while (roughly 1000 hours, apparently). When I wanted to flow through boredom and trouble without really straining, I would load up Warframe.

Great leaders

Sat, 16 Oct 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Do you believe in great leaders? I don’t mean that rhetorically.

Often we describe great events with respect to great individuals: the reign of queens like Victoria, the breakthroughs of inventors like Einstein.

The alternative, that great events evolve from great systems, can scare me. Systems seem further from my control; systems introduce luck and misfortune and randomness.

Imagine a great leader and a flock of idiots. That convinces me that great individuals do not suffice to produce great results. Yet also imagine great groups competing through mutually exclusive causes. The interaction, the collaboration, matters.

🎃

Sat, 09 Oct 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Week 1

I’m staying at a friend’s place. I bought a smol orange pumpkin for decoration. I plop it onto their bedside table.

J: Did you buy a pumpkin?

not quite an expert: What do you mean?

J: The pumpkin beside my bed.

not quite an expert: Where did you get that pumpkin?

J: 🤨

not quite an expert: 🙂

Week 2

I bought a smol white pumpkin. I replace the smol orange pumpkin, hiding it in my bag.

CJK segmentation

Sat, 02 Oct 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

Let’s return to the Unicode Standard from the last post:

Programmers do not expect the characters c, h, a, and t alone to tell us whether chat is a French word for cat or an English word meaning informal talk. … Similarly, the Han characters are often combined to “spell” words whose meaning may not be evident from the constituent characters. For example, the two characters “to cut” and “hand” mean “postage stamp”" in Japanese, but the compound may appear to be nonsense to a speaker of Chinese or Korean.

CJK fonts

Sat, 25 Sep 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

You may wonder, based on my previous post, how Unicode handles when the same Han character gets written differently in different languages. Writing evolves over time, so can we represent the same Han character with the same Unicode code point across languages? Unicode answers:

Even where there are substantial variations in the standard way of writing a character from locale to locale, if the fundamental identity of the character is not in question, then a single character is encoded in Unicode. … It is well-recognized that the Han characters involved are the same, even when used in different countries to write different languages. … There are occasional instances of unified characters whose typical Chinese glyph and typical Japanese glyph are distinct enough that the Chinese glyph will be unfamiliar to the typical Japanese reader, e.g., 直 U+76F4. … Where a distinction in style needs to be made (for example, Chinese-style vs. Japanese-style glyphs in the same document), appropriate fonts should be applied to the specific text as needed.

Language carries history

Sat, 18 Sep 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

To demonstrate language carries history, I’ll use Unicode.

Unicode

First, what “Unicode”? Unicode defines encoding characters (formally, graphemes, a minimally distinctive unit of writing), including letters, symbols, and emoji 😮. Unicode covers most of the world’s writing systems, and nearly all web pages use Unicode (UTF-8).

Unicode provides a unique code point, a number, for each character. For example, the (decimal) number 75, 0b01001011 in binary, represents the uppercase K. Computers represent data in binary, so essentially Unicode provides a mapping from binary data to characters.

Lady Bird

Sat, 31 Jul 2021 00:00:00 +0000

“Please, please come home.”

As the Delta variant grew, so did my mom’s worry. She could not sleep, stressing over me in Seattle. And so she texted, begging.

“Come home now. You can do whatever you want at home. Please, please come home.”

When I did not respond immediately, she called, texted and called until my throat ran sore.

I did not want to go. I remembered having to wait a week to open packages. I remembered a yelling match over eating a stem of basil unwashed. I remembered a fork doused in boiling water till the plastic melted away from the rest of the handle.

Danger! Water gun!

Sat, 24 Jul 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

You know water guns. I don’t need to explain water guns. If you don’t, re-read the name, a gun that shoots water.

Safety

Children like shooting things. Shockingly, parents don’t like their children getting shot. Therefore, parents buy their children water guns to play with. We normally distinguish a water gun by its safety.

Danger

A few days ago, I read an article about a protester shooting a water gun at the Olympic torch. I found this incredibly interesting. Because in that moment, the water gun presented arguably more danger than a traditional gun. It really highlights how power and danger can arise contextually.

Ergonomic keyboards

Sat, 03 Jul 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

I want you to sit or stand. Now, hold your left arm up with your right arm (like you’re aiming an arm cannon on your left arm), and relax your left arm as much as possible.

If you followed the instructions correctly, your left hand should hang limp, slightly downward. In order to raise your left hand, you have to strain your left wrist just a little bit. In ergonomics, you call this extension.

Cream tea

Sat, 26 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

Have you ever had cream tea? Contrary to the name, you don’t put cream in the tea. Cream tea consists of tea, clotted cream,¹ scones, and jam; you actually eat the named cream with the scones.

Variation

Traditional servings of cream tea vary between counties of England.

In Cornwall, you:

1. Split the scone into halves.

2. Spread jam onto the halves.

3. Spread clotted cream onto the halves.

Audiophilia: resolution vs. profile

Sat, 19 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

Take these two side-by-side images of The Great Wave off Kanagawa: One of them has the resolution 3858x2592 pixels, the other 1929x1296 pixels (scaled back up to 3858x2592 for comparison). Can you tell them apart?

I can’t. If you can, I bet you have to look really close to notice a difference. If I take a 12x12 sample of each’s bottom-left corner (and scale it up), you cal tell the difference: The left side has the lower resolution.

Versioning and unbundling

Sat, 12 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000

A continuation of this post

Introduction

Let’s talk about some non-hurdle means of price discrimination. For a definition of price discrimination and hurdles, see the previous post.

Versioning

In versioning, the seller offers different versions of the same product at different prices. Going back to airlines, airlines offer a business-class version of tickets and an economy-class version of tickets.

Now hold on, arguably, “different versions of the same product” could just mean “different products.” A seller offering “different products” doesn’t exactly break new ground. In practical terms, versioning involves:

Price discrimination

Sat, 05 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Continued in this post

Introduction

People value the same products differently. Therefore, they will pay more or less for the same products. How, then, as a seller of products, do you make the most money? You try to charge people as close to the best price you can get from them.

Simplified example

Let’s say you sell Lorems. Lorems cost $2 each to make, and only three people care about buying Lorems: Alpha, Beta, and Omega. Alpha will pay up to $10; Beta will pay up to $5, and Omega will pay up to $1.

Michelangelo / Pontormo

Sat, 29 May 2021 00:00:00 +0000

I

Michelangelo did not want to paint the Sistine Chapel. Yet Pope Julius II insisted. In 1508 Italy, one could not refuse the pope, so Michelangelo had to paint the Sistine Chapel.

Hoping to get the Chapel over with, Michelangelo sought assistants. Art historian Giorgio Vasari recalls he even brought Aristotile, among five other painters, to Rome in hopes of assisting the frescoes. Aristot i le the painter, not Aristotle the Greek philosopher, unfortunately (no time shenanigans here). Unable to find suitable candidates, Michelangelo painted nearly the whole ceiling himself.

Not yours to share

Sat, 22 May 2021 00:00:00 +0000

I

Freshman year I lived in a dorm suite with 4 other freshmen. Our suite had enough space to set up a TV and Wii U, so A, a friend also studying the same year at the school of business, would regularly come over to smoke weed and play Super Smash Bros. A pretty good time overall - I remember betting 2 whole wafers I could beat A 1-on-1 without losing any of my 3 lives, a loss from which I have yet to recover.

Satisficing

Sat, 15 May 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

Today I shopped for a plain white t-shirt. My requirements:

plain
white
t-shirt

All in all, pretty simple. So how in the everloving world did I spend 2+ hours buying plain white t-shirts?

Buying online

Buying basically anything online represents a hard problem.

First, you face a staggering amount of candidates. Search for lotions or cables or shirts and you’ll find yourself trekking through an endless jungle of prices, styles, and brands.

I dreamt of class once more

Sat, 08 May 2021 00:00:00 +0000

I don’t recall dreaming about school that often. However, this dream seemed separate from any recurring theme or motif.

In this dream, I was attending a prestigious English course. To my surprise, the teacher announced a vocab quiz. For each word, we had to remember its “run time” as a grade. For example, the word “apocryphal” had a “run time” of C– (remember dreams don’t have to make sense).

I had not studied for the quiz, so I had no idea of the run times of the words. Did “zoological” have a run time of B+ or B (the answer, of course, A-)? Stuck shooting in the dark, I didn’t even get to put down enough answers.

Why Aristotle?

Sat, 17 Apr 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

Recently I read this article about friendship in the Atlantic. In it, Arthur Brooks writes:

According to [Aristotle in Nicomachean Ethics], friendships exist along a kind of ladder. At the bottom rung—where emotional bonds are weakest and the happiness benefits are lowest—are friendships based on utility to each other in work or social life. … At the highest level are friendships of virtue, or what Aristotle called “perfect friendship.” These friendships are pursued for their own sake, and not instrumental to anything else.

imprecise words

Sat, 03 Apr 2021 00:00:00 +0000

no set of words, arranged in any order, can make you feel the exact way I do

not even “I,” my past self, and “you,” my future self

good words, however, will get you to understand

understand, not feel, the sensations and emotions

yet those good words may not do good

some sensations and emotions I do not want to understand

at least not yet

Beatrice / Digi

Sat, 27 Feb 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Content warning: transphobia, mental illness

Introduction

I used to watch a YouTube channel, Digibro, focused on anime analysis. I enjoyed the content on Digibro for its incredible critical detail, e.g. this 50 000+ words, 4+ hours video essay “The Asterisk War Sucks”. Some time around May 2020, I noticed the channel name and narrator voice changed, and found this tweet:

Thinking about going femme and changing my name to Diginee and branding myself as anitube’s big sister

PuPu

Sat, 02 Jan 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

Today, I’d like to introduce you to PuPu. Not poo poo, PuPu with the letter u represents the contagious nature of arbitrariness.

For example, let’s say I wanted to estimate how many metal cans you eat per week. I claim

You eat exactly 1 metal can per hour (completely arbitrary).
Each day has 24 hours (true).
Each week has 7 days (true).

Therefore, I would estimate you eat exactly 1 * 24 * 7 = 168 metal cans per week.

Confessions of a recent Mac convert

Sat, 26 Dec 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

In high school. I wanted to become a computer person. Sure, I had dabbled with HTML/CSS before. However, in my mind a computer person had 3 things:

proficiency in a real programming language
a powerful laptop
strong opinions

Already a Holder of Strong Opinions, I eagerly pulled up an online Python class on Udacity. Armed with the free time of spring and summer break, I charged through the class at a pace of one day per one week’s worth of material. Soon enough, I could write cool (i.e. badly structured, generally useless, really just all-around non-Pythonic) Python programs!

Haircut

Sat, 12 Dec 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Today, my mom cut my hair for the third time this year.

Or perhaps the fourth? Fifth? Since the start of the Inside Times, I’ve found it hard to count, well…many things.

Through comb, scissor, clipper, trimmer, my mom sculpted my unruly hair.

“When I was young, your grandma told me to learn to cut hair.”

I remembered my trip to China roughly 10 years ago. We paid the barber only a few dollars.

Making time

Sat, 14 Nov 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

Like me, you probably have a list of background to-dos that you want to eventually get around to. They range in importance from big passion projects to small decoration ideas. However, it often seems you just don’t have enough time for them. You have work or classes. This week you have an appointment for this or preparation for that, so next week probably works better. Or maybe you don’t feel you can set aside a long enough chunk of time to really commit to this to-do.

Outside the sphere of influence

Sat, 07 Nov 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Some might recognize this as the Serenity Prayer. Often reworded from churches to Alcoholics Anonymous, I have reproduced the version I have heard the most.

Sphere of influence

Imagine a wide space of things that matter to you. In this space live 3 types of things:

lol something matters

Sat, 26 Sep 2020 00:00:00 +0000

I: A Marketing 300 lecture

In the winter of 2019, I took MKT 300 as required by my business degree. The research interests of the professor, Dr. Carolyn Yoon, lived in the intersection of neuroscience and marketing.¹

Within her interests, how does presentation affect people’s ability to internalize the message of an informational campaign (e.g. PSA debunking myths)? In one lecture, Professor Yoon provided an example that really piqued my interest: a CDC poster of facts and myths regarding the flu vaccine. Professor Yoon explained that after a while, the “false” or “not” component of the message sometimes faded away, potentially backfiring on the attempt to clear falsehoods.

RBG

Sat, 19 Sep 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Ruth Bader Ginsburg died yesterday. The Court, already precariously balanced, has tipped away from me. In witness, I have finally registered to vote.

Four views on Microwave Cooking for One

Sat, 12 Sep 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

From the Amazon listing:

Fast, easy, and economical, the recipes in Microwave Cooking for One are ideal for individuals, whether they live alone or share busy modern households. From breakfast through dinner, fresh, delicious meals can be prepared to satisfy personal tastes without wasted food, overheated kitchens, or messy clean-up.

View I

Microwave Cooking for One represents the height of laziness! You can’t bother yourself with preparing a proper meal; you can’t even bring yourself to talk to the delivery driver. You filth! You, utter, utter, filth! For once, get out of your bed or off of your couch. For once, stop binging your favorite show for the tenth time and do something! No, shoving three things into the microwave doesn’t count. Did you do the thing I asked you to do two days ago? No? Of course you didnt.

Punch up, not down

Sat, 05 Sep 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

Let’s start with 2 observations:

Our words affect others.
We can control our words.

It follows that we should control our words to have the desired effect on other people. Abstractly, we should say things that promote good and avoid harm.

Jokes

People often use jokes to express contentious or controversial ideas with less risk. Personally, I find myself more inclined to watch a stand-up embedded with political themes than read an explicitly political essay, though sometimes I will find the space for the latter.

Dynamic identity

Sat, 25 Jul 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

A ship leaves on a long journey, spanning years and continents. Over the course of this journey, every part of the ship, including the crew, is replaced. When the ship finally returns to the first port it left, is it the same ship?

The philosophically savvy will recognize this question as the ship of Theseus, first proposed as a thought experiment thousands of years ago. You can substitute the ship for basically any object, even yourself, and ask: is it still the same?

Beauty and style

Sat, 04 Jul 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

A quick post on a useful distinction.

Beauty

Beauty is socially defined. What is beautiful is almost always exclusive, like being young or rich. Imagine a runway model.

Style

Style is individually defined. You can be stylish at any age, at any level of wealth, no matter the circumstances of your birth. Imagine a drag queen.

Conclusion

I am still trying to find my style.

Partial reinforcement and addictive games

Sat, 27 Jun 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

I’ve been gaming a lot recently, so this has been on my mind.

Reinforcement and punishment

In operant conditioning, behavior is modified with reinforcement and punishment. Reinforcement and punishment are defined pretty much exactly as you would intuit:

Reinforcement uses a pleasant result to encourage behavior.
Punishment uses an unpleasant result to discourage behavior.

In formal terms, both reinforcement and punishment can be “positive” or “negative.” Note “positive” and “negative” do not refer to goodness. Here, by “positive” we mean “giving,” and by “negative” we mean “taking away.” Positive reinforcement gives a pleasant stimulus; negative reinforcement takes away an unpleasant stimulus.

Diegesis is not an excuse

Sat, 13 Jun 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

Look at the big word in the title!

What is diegesis?

First, the elephant in the room: what does it mean?

For the non-critics in the audience, diegesis refers to details within the universe of the story. This is in contrast to details within our universe.

For example, suppose you are reading Things Fall Apart. The character Okonkwo’s exile is diegetic; it happens within the story. On the other hand, the novel’s first publication year of 1958 is non-diegetic; it happens outside the story.

Jupyter, and collaborative filtering continued

Sat, 25 Apr 2020 00:00:00 +0000

A continuation of this post

Introduction

I came across an interesting Atlantic article recently.¹ tl;dr: Wolfram and Jupyter notebooks allow us to express research, especially research involving programming, more precisely and reproducibly than traditional paper papers. Of course, durability is a concern with Wolfram and Jupyter notebooks. However, I wanted to make an honest effort of Jupyter notebooks in this post.

The Jupyter bazaar

In his famous 1997 essay, The Cathedral and the Bazaar: Musings on Linux and Open Source by an Accidental Revolutionary, Eric Steven Raymond contrasts two development models:

Collaborative filtering

Sat, 11 Apr 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Continued in this post

Introduction

Collaborative filtering is an important problem in recommender systems. These recommender systems form the basis of some of the largest products today: search (Google), marketplace (Amazon), and content (Netflix, YouTube) products all rely on some form of recommender system.

Collaborative filtering types

Collaborative filtering comes in 2 main types: memory-based and model-based. Memory-based models employ user and item data, described in detail in the next section, to form recommendations. Model-based techniques, outside the scope of this post, encompass all other deep (neural network) and shallow models used to form recommendations.

Voting continued

Sat, 04 Apr 2020 00:00:00 +0000

A continuation of this post

Because I wanted to combine the themes of people and programming, I wrote a short Python script to calculate and visualize outcomes of the different voting schemes described in my last post.

This script is available in this public Github repo. It provides a detailed example of how different voting schemes can lead to different outcomes in the example directory.

Voting, and system design matters

Sat, 28 Mar 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Continued in this post

Introduction

In the United States, we use plurality (winner-takes-all) voting. However, this is just one of multiple single-winner voting systems that exist. Other voting systems include:

Instant-runoff voting
Approval voting
Borda count voting
Positive-negative voting

A review of plurality voting

In a plurality voting system, the candidate with the most votes wins. Plurality voting is generally the most simple system. However, this simplicity is not always a virtue. The minimum number of votes a candidate needs to win under plurality voting is:

Institutions defined (by me, not quite an expert), and employment is a market

Sat, 21 Mar 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

As a society, we use 5 broad classes of institutions: hierarchies, democracies, markets, self-organization, and algorithms. Let us start with a basic question:

What is a system?

A system is

a collection of individuals,
interactions between them, and
relationships influencing those interactions.

Take the computer system I am currently running:

A collection of individuals: processor, memory, battery, keyboard, screen, etc.

Note these individuals are not necessarily atomic. For example, memory could be broken down into volatile (DRAM, or just RAM for most people) and non-volatile (SSD, a.k.a. “disk” or “hard drive”) memory, or keyboard could be broken down into individual buttons (though the usefulness of a keyboard with only one button is suspect).

A crown of vignettes

Sat, 14 Mar 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Part 1: Not with a bang but a whimper

Due to the outbreak, classes have been moved online and Commencement has been canceled. I understand why. I know that among all that people are experiencing now, I am closer to the zenith than the nadir. Yet I feel an undeniable disappointment, a sadness with being denied the catharsis of a proper end to my formal education.

Part 2: Crisis on service

The consequences of the outbreak for me are small compared to for others. The most affected are service workers, losing jobs and, of those who still have one, working even more than normal to meet the needs of the crisis. Especially in the US, we tend to treat service workers (in contrast to knowledge workers) not great. If you’re using a delivery service like me (I don’t want to pass anything to my parents), make sure to leave an extra, extra large tip.

Restricting the solution space can restrict the benefits of group decision-making

Sat, 25 Jan 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Introduction

For complex and difficult decisions, institutions often employ groups to make those decisions. For example, legal systems employ juries and companies employ hiring committees. Institutions prefer these groups because they are (hopefully) less likely to have inappropriate biases and because they draw from a wider pool of knowledge and information than individual members. Here’s an interesting idea: no matter the characteristics of the problem, a restricted solution space can restrict these previously mentioned benefits. Let us consider an example.