Outside the sphere of influence
Introduction
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Some might recognize this as the Serenity Prayer. Often reworded from churches to Alcoholics Anonymous, I have reproduced the version I have heard the most.
Sphere of influence
Imagine a wide space of things that matter to you. In this space live 3 types of things:
- Things you can control
- Things you can influence
- Things you cannot change
Types 1 and 2 together form your sphere of influence.
Worry
Meanwhile, Type 3 often occupies our worries. What if I did this better? What if I had that? What if I spoke up then?
I get it. I really do. I think about Type 3 often too, out of anguish, out of boredom, out of self-deprecation.
Letting go
We get told to let go of Type 3. If not in the form of the Serenity Prayer, you might get advised to “focus on your sphere of influence.”
I generally like this. Doing so helps me direct my time and energy effectively.
Recontextualizing
However, I also find it helps to recontextualize Type 3. Sometimes, treating Type 3 right help us better manage Types 1 and 2.
Reflecting on our past, which often gets placed in Type 3, helps us become better people. And awareness of external issues makes us more keen to spot similar problems in our own communities.
Conclusion
Confronting Type 3 presents us with balancing efficacy. While we should focus on the most important things within our sphere of influence, we must also learn and grow from things outside that sphere. Just don't let catastrophizing about Type 3 take over.