You wanted to eat more vegetables.

So you researched green powders - not the overpriced podcast one, the Hueligan one.

So you checked for BFCM sales - Huel doesn't have one though GNC has BOGO-50% mix and match.

So you perused Barebells protein bar flavors - you must sample the local supply lest you get stuck with unsavory protein!

And so you end up at the airport Margaritaville, tolerated by the server who doesn't need the table just yet, comparatively tasting bites of 5 protein bars:

1. Cookies and cream - the poster child, for a reason
2. Chocolate dough - like cookies and cream, except a little more elegant, for a protein bar
3. Creamy crisp - like Oreo cream, strong start going downhill fast, so you can't finish
4. Caramel cashew - a third cousin to cashew, no trace left
5. Salty peanut - a joyless Snickers, where “salty” actually describes your feelings

I accidentally left the bag of half-eaten protein bars on the airport shuttle, though I can't say I miss them too much. I ordered the cookies and caramel flavor anyway.